“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 NIV
“Your opportunities and level of achievement in life depend upon the good will of others.”
One of the earliest signs for the later success of the youngest child is the guideline you learned in Kindergarten: “plays well with others.” The reason is simple enough. Everyone’s opportunities in life and therefore their levels of achievement depend upon the good will and assistance of others along the way. If you are not a team player, appreciated and well liked by others, showing interest in the success of others, and helpful in their efforts, you will not likely find the help that you also will need.
It seems that the practical wisdom of something that simple is a challenge for many, and for some a life-long deficit even as adults. There are two mistakes that are deadly for relationships. First, the foolish notion that you don’t need help; that’s arrogance. And secondly, the mistaken idea that you don’t need to be helpful; that’s selfishness. 1 Corinthians 12:18-21, 26.
Most people’s unhappiness, loneliness, and lack of success are the result of relational difficulties, not knowing how to relate to others in a winning way. People don’t always fail because of deficient abilities or lack of opportunity. Some talented people simply aren’t likable. They disregard or lack acceptable social concerns and skills. They never outgrew a toddler’s insistence of, “me first!”
Truly successful people genuinely care about others, and are well liked. Their friends and co-workers want them to succeed, and rejoice when they do. You will want to be that person.
Today’s verse gives three helpful, winning ways if you wish to “play well with others.”
(1) Learn to listen with interest and regard. You are only learning when you are listening. “Be quick to listen.” It is not as important that people hear what you have to say, as your profiting by listening when you are wise to do so. Proverbs 18:13.
(2) Value what you say so others will. You don’t always need to say everything that you think. “Be slow to speak.” Let your words be few, but let those few be with substance and integrity. Learn when to speak up, and when best to shut up. Words can hurt or heal, reflect wisdom or expose ignorance, bring peace or breach. Proverbs 18:20-21/Psalm 19:14.
(3) Manage your emotions or they will manage you. Emotions should serve you, not rule you. “Be slow to become angry.” Choose not to react quickly or harshly to others’ opinions or arguments. Don’t get swept along in someone else’s emotions and agitation. Be calm when there seems every reason to be otherwise. That choice will help you remain above the fray, and allow you to be a calming influence in any situation. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” Matthew 5:9. It is peace as first priority, not peace at any price.
My prayer for you is that you will reap the benefits of playing well with others.