“He who guards his . . tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Proverbs 21:23 NIV
“Just because you think something does not mean you should say it.”
My thoughts today are about “check your filters.”
I don’t know why I procrastinate the mundane job of regularly checking the air conditioning vents in our home and changing the filters. Everything works more efficiently when I do. It isn’t that difficult to do so; I just seem to neglect the task until it is very evident that it needs my attention. There is another area of everyday life that requires a periodic check and possible change – your words. Do you need to check your filters today? Everybody has said something and quickly realized it would have been better if you had not? I think that is probably a common experience to all of us. The problem is that words once said cannot be unsaid. Words are spoken that are not true, or that are unkind and hurtful, or words that were shared in confidence. A simple rule might suffice, “Just because you think it does not mean you should say it.” It would be better if a person decided to balance their abundance of thoughts with a corresponding scarcity of words.
A person was recently described to me this way, “Don’t mind them; they’ve lost their filter.” Some people seem never to have had a filter, never learning to monitor themselves for their own good and the good of others. Some have a filter but theirs seems inoperable, failing them at the most inopportune and crucial times. I have observed that as a fairly common, social malady. Your opinion is most valued when reserved until requested. You can say anything you want, but not without consequences. Speaking your mind loses friends, limits opportunities, and closes doors.
The Bible says, “He who guards his . . tongue keeps himself from calamity.” Proverbs 21:23 NIV. That really does not need much explanation, does it? And yet it seems, in every circle of people there is someone who is the center of one relational calamity after another. The verse can be translated this way, “If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble.” (New Living Translation) Could anything be plainer than that? Learn that you don’t have to comment on everything, just because someone else does. Your words are valuable, spend them wisely and share them sparingly. Let me suggest some practical filters that work very well.
(1) Taste your words before speaking. “Let your speech be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer.” Colossians 4:6 NKJV. Ask yourself, would I find my words suitable if they were spoken to me or about me? If not, do not!
(2) Test your words carefully before voicing them. “Let no corrupt word proceed from your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29 NKJV. It’s just this simple: will your comments encourage and be gracious to those who hear, or overhear, them?
(3) Try your words on God first. “May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord.” Psalm 19:14 NLT. When people hear you speak do you sound like a Christ-follower? May it be said of you as was said of Peter and John, “They recognized them as men who had been with Jesus.” Acts 4:13 NLT. Being with Jesus changes you for the better.
(4) Temper your words lest you grieve the Holy Spirit. “Do not allow any unwholesome talk . . and do not grieve the Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 4:29-30 NIV. The Holy Spirit is trusted Counselor with flawless wisdom; listen to Him in your heart. Read 1 Peter 3:9-11 NIV.
My prayer for you today is that your words are spoken with charm and grace.