“It is not good that man should be alone.” Genesis 2:18 NKJV
When mutuality is imbalanced, relational intimacy is elusive.
My thoughts and comments today are about “real relationships.”
Success in life involves establishing mutually beneficial relationships. There will be associations that a person may seek out of their own sense of need or from their willingness to sacrifice to meet another’s need. But the relationships that endure and grow are those that become mutually beneficial – something is given and something is received. Marriage may be the best illustration of this principle. Marriage will be neither satisfactory not successful unless both partners are giving generously and receiving gratefully. When mutuality is imbalanced, relational intimacy is elusive. In a measure, that principle is true in friendships, families, and work relationships as well.
But there is a vast difference between community and being in a crowd. Have you ever wondered why we are drawn to where the crowd is? A crowd can be a lonely place when you are a stranger there. People pack the same venues, sporting events, restaurants, and churches, looking for a place where they are not alone, looking for closeness that is never found in the crowd. The satisfaction and belonging you seek cannot be found in a crowd but is found in fellowship with God and in the surrounding company of Godly community. You were created for community; by God’s design, meaningful community is the setting in which people thrive.
Soon after creation of Adam and as incentive to create Eve, Adam’s helpmate, God declared a truth that is repeated again and again in Scripture, “It is not good that man should be alone.” Genesis 2:18 NKJV. After everything that God created and pronounced, “very good,” God stated clearly that Adam’s relational aloneness was “not good.” Adam had perfect surroundings, safety and security, ample provision, and meaningful responsibilities – literally everything a person could want or need, except for the lack of companionship.
The Psalmist understood the same truth when he observed, “God sets the solitary in families.” Psalm 68:6 NKJV. Solomon stated mutual benefits unequivocally, “Two are better than one . . [one] who is alone . . has no one to help him.” Read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV. And of course, the New Testament is replete with direction about “one another” – “love one another, serve one another, forgive one another, comfort one another, edify one another, hospitable to one another, submitting to one another, devoted to one another,” and many, many other such practical expressions of life in community. Salvation is to restore mutual and beneficial relationship with God first, and then with others. See 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 NLT.
Friendship is a valuable thing, a design of God Himself for the fullest realization of what He made each person to be and do. My shortcomings and under-achievements are my own doing, not the fault of others. The longer I have lived the more I realize the preponderance of credit goes to others for whatever good I have done and whatever good I have become. At the heart of every meaningful and mutually beneficial relationship, you find the fingerprints of God. When you are ready to be that kind of friend, God makes the proper introductions to have that kind of friends.
My prayer for you today is that you become the friend you wish others to be for you.