“Forgiving each other, just as . . God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV.
Forgiveness occurs only when you release the offense and offender to God.
Your innocence does not preclude the possibility of another’s offense. Life will have plenty of wrongs and hurts. When those occur and they will, what happens in you is more important than what happened to you. What happens to you is just for a moment; what happens in you can affect you deeply and negatively. You should not give anyone the power to impose upon your inner life. Do not let what was external become internal.
Paul gave sound instruction, “Get rid of all bitterness . . along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV. A lot of unpleasant and unprofitable things can occur, such as negative feelings, unholy passions, unhealthy emotions, distracted thoughts, misdirected attention, revengeful plans, wasted time, as well as broken hearts and damaged relationships. See Hebrews 12:14-15 NIV.
Often enough, the worst pain from an offense is frequently self-inflicted. What has been done will be hurtful enough; don’t add more pain to it. You can’t get over your pain until you get past the hurt; you won’t get past the hurt until you give the offense to God. There is one sure cure; that cure is forgiveness. Forgiveness does not involve feeling different about what has happened; forgiveness is a unilateral choice to release another person, or persons, from accountability to you. Place their offense and your pain into God’s hands. Forgiveness occurs only when you release the offense and offender to God.
Paul wrote to Christians in Rome who endured much more than offenses; they suffered severe, religious persecution. His instruction? “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21 NIV. That would appear to me to be more easily said than done, but it needs be said and it must be done. “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.” Vs. 17-19 NIV.
It may be an oversimplification, but I would summarize Paul’s counsel this way: don’t insert yourself into God’s way. My Dad’s advice was both similar and simple, “Two wrongs never make a right.” God will deal with offenders and their offenses; don’t make it necessary for Him to deal with yours also. Choosing to do what’s right is the only way you heal a wrong.
“Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-14 NIV. You fail to forgive another when you fail to remember the amazing grace with which God has forgiven you. Unforgiveness is a costly thing to hold tightly. Unforgiveness inflicts more suffering on you than on the person you fail to forgive. Forgive; be kind to yourself and pleasing to God. What a deal.
My prayer for you this day is that you will be quick to forgive and willing to forget.